Righting the Off-Track School Year
[Written for Long Island Parent Feb/March 2011]
The second quarter marking period is over and your child’s grades have taken a turn for the worse. It’s time to regroup and evaluate where the school year is headed if no changes are made. You are both feeling frustrated and anxious about the months to come. You’ve tried bribes, maybe even used some well thought out consequences, but nothing until now has made a significant, lasting difference. Something is just not going well and before the rest of the year sips by, you want to pause and plan how you can help your child pick himself and his grades back up. So where do you start? You start at the source, with your child. Now that your child has reached the preteen and teen years, they must be more personally invested, aware, and responsible for their own education.
Begin by planning a time to talk with your child about how you would like to help him turn his year around. As you approach your conversation, try your best to convey that you are curious about what is behind the struggle and that you want to partner with your child. Being disappointed and judgmental will likely shut your child down from communicating and not produce many positive changes.
Various causes can be contributing to your child’s difficult year. Here are some areas you may want to investigate:
- Has there as been a substantial change in the difficulty of work? Is he taking too many highly challenging courses?
- Are social pressures intervening? Maybe he’s spending too much time socializing? Is he perhaps showing signs of depression?
- Is he is having difficulties with his teachers? Perhaps there is a personality or teaching style conflict that needs to be addressed.
- Perhaps he has hit the wall, so to speak in terms being able to manage the workload effectively. Many children first become diagnosed with ADHD or Executive Function deficits when they reach the middle years since their raw intelligence is no longer sufficient to help them compensate for other weaknesses.
- For children already receiving special education services, is the plan in place providing sufficient support? Are their modifications and accommodations are being effectively implemented. Especially for children who are taught that it is respectful in school not to question a teacher, learning how to advocate when truly necessary and appropriate can be uncomfortable for some children.
- Is your child having trouble advocating for himself?
Here are some tips that may help your child learn to advocate for himself:
- Help him truly know himself better as a learner. Is he having trouble taking helpful notes in class? Would moving his seat help him concentrate better? Would some diagrams or other visual aids help? What else might help?
- Help prepare to speak to his teacher. Perhaps you can role-play or review what he wants to request.
- Encourage him to go to extra help to feel more comfortable speaking one on one with his teacher. This is often a great opportunity to have a quick conversation about his requests for support.
- Remind him that teachers are people, too. They can’t read his mind and don’t always know his concerns or intentions. He can give them a chance to help him by speaking up.
© Long Island Parent. This article originally appeared in Long Island Parent, February/March 2011, pg. 28
Written by Cindy Goldrich, Ed.M., ACAC ADHD Parent Coach
www.PTScoaching.com 516.802.0593
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